Your Estate Plan Decides or the State Decides

It’s something that everyone needs, but often gets overlooked. Estate planning makes some people downright uncomfortable. There’s no law that says you must have an estate plan—just laws that will impact how your property is distributed and who will raise your children, if you don’t have a will. Planning is important, says WMUR 9 in a recent article “Money Matters: Estate planning,” if you want to be the one making those decisions.

An estate plan can be simple, if you only own a few assets, or complicated if you have significant assets, more than one home and multiple investments. Some strategies are easier to implement, like a last will and testament. Others can be simple or complex, like trusts. Whatever your needs, an estate planning attorney will be able to give you the guidance that your unique situation requires. Your estate planning attorney may work with your financial advisor and accountant to be sure that your financial and legal plans work together to benefit you and your family.

There are circumstances that require special estate planning:

  • If your estate is valued at more than the federal gift and/or estate tax exclusion, which is $11.4 million per person in 2019
  • You have minor children
  • There are family members with special needs who rely on your support
  • You own a business
  • You own property in more than one state
  • You want to leave a charitable legacy
  • Your property includes artwork or other valuable collectables
  • You have opinions about end-of-life healthcare
  • You want privacy for your family

The first step for any estate plan is a thorough review of the family finances, dynamics and assets. Who are your family members? How do you want to help them? What do they need? What is your tax picture like? How old are you, and how good is your health? These are just a few of the things an estate planning attorney will discuss with you. Once you are clear on your situation, you’ll discuss overall goals and objectives. The attorney will be able to outline your options, whether you are concerned with passing wealth to the next generation, avoiding family disputes, preparing for a disability or transferring ownership of a business.

A last will and testament will provide clear, legal direction as to how your assets should be distributed and who will care for any minor children.

A trust is used to address more complex planning concerns. A trust is a legal entity that holds assets to be used for the benefit of one or more individuals. It is overseen by a trustee or trustees, who can be individuals you name or professionals.

If you create trusts, it is important that assets be retitled so the trust owns the assets and not you personally. If the assets are not retitled, the trust will not achieve your goals.

Some property typically has its own beneficiary designations, like IRAs, retirement accounts and life insurance. These assets pass directly to heirs according to the designation, but only if you make the designations on the appropriate forms.

Once you’re done with your estate plan, make a note on your calendar. Estate plans and beneficiary designations need to be reviewed every three or four years. Lives change, laws change and your estate plan needs to keep pace.

Reference: WMUR 9 (Aug. 1, 2019) “Money Matters: Estate planning”

How Do Trusts Work in Your Estate Plan?

A trust can be a useful tool for passing on assets, allowing them to be held by a responsible trustee for beneficiaries. However, determining which type of trust is best for each family’s situation and setting them up so they work with an estate plan, can be complex. You’ll do better with the help of an estate planning attorney, says The Street in the article “How to Set Up a Trust Fund: What You Need to Know.”

Depending upon the assets, a trust can help avoid estate taxes that might make the transfer financially difficult for those receiving the assets. The amount of control that is available with a trust, is another reason why they are a popular estate planning tool.

First, make sure that you have enough assets to make using a trust productive. There are some tax complexities that arise with the use of trusts. Unless there is a fair amount of money involved, it may not be worth the expense. Once you’ve made that decision, it’s time to consider what type of trust is needed.

Revocable Trusts are trusts that can be changed. If you believe that you will live for a long time, you may want to use a revocable trust, so you can make changes to it, if necessary. Because of its flexibility, you can change beneficiaries, terminate the trust, or leave it as is. You have options. Once you die, the revocable trust becomes irrevocable and distributions and assets shift to the beneficiaries.

A revocable trust avoids probate for the trust, but will be counted as part of your “estate” for estate tax purposes. They are includable in your estate, because you maintain control over them during your lifetime.

They are used to help manage assets as you age, or help you maintain control of assets, if you don’t believe the trustees are not ready to manage the funds.

Irrevocable Trusts cannot be changed once they have been implemented. If estate taxes are a concern, it’s likely you’ll consider this type of trust. The assets are given to the trust, thus removing them from your taxable estate.

Deciding whether to use an irrevocable trust is not always easy. You’ll need to be comfortable with giving up complete control of assets.

These are just two of many different types of trusts. There are trusts set up for distributions to pay college expenses, Special Needs Trusts for disabled individuals, charitable trusts for philanthropic purposes and more. Your estate planning attorney will be able to identify what trusts are most appropriate for your situation.

Here’s how to prepare for your meeting with an estate planning attorney:

List all of your assets. List everything you might want to place in a trust: including accounts, investments and real estate.

List beneficiaries. Include primary and secondary beneficiaries.

Map out the specifics. Who do you want to receive the assets? How much do you want to leave them? You should be as detailed as possible.

Choose a trustee. You’ll need to name someone you trust implicitly, who understands your financial situation and who will be able to stand up to any beneficiaries who might not like how you’ve structured your trust. It can be a professional, if there are no family members or friends who can handle this task.

Don’t forget to fund the trust. This last step is very important. The trust document does no good, if the trusts are not funded. You may do better letting your estate planning attorney handle this task, so that accounts are properly titled with assets and the trusts are properly registered with the IRS.

Creating a trust fund can be a complex task. However, with the help of an experienced estate planning attorney, this strategy can yield a lifetime of benefits for you and your loved ones.

Reference: The Street (July 22, 2019) “How to Set Up a Trust Fund: What You Need to Know”

Advance Planning Key for Alzheimer’s Patients

A retired physician and his wife have allowed a local television station to report their family’s journey with Alzheimer’s over the course of the last four years. The series continues with WCCO CBS Minnesota’s article “’All Lined Up Before You Need It’: Alzheimer’s Association Shares Steps for Estate Planning,” with four steps to take, if you notice that a family member is having memory lapses or trouble with simple tasks.

The Quinn family—Dr. Paul Quinn and his wife Peg—had some tough conversations years ago, when Paul’s memory was better, and when he was able to be completely honest with his wife about his wishes and what the couple would need to do moving forward.

Peg Quinn said that getting everything lined up long before it’s needed, is very important.

If there’s any sign of cognitive decline, there are legal and financial steps that must be pursued. Start with addressing the family budget and projected medical costs for long term care. If possible, gather all family members together for a planning session.

If they live in different parts of the state, or of the country, ask the family members to travel for a weekend family meeting. This is the kind of planning that is better when everyone is physically present.

Start by naming a power of attorney. It needs to be someone who is aware of the situation and will be able to make decisions on your behalf. An estate planning attorney can assist with making this decision.

Next, establish an advance directive with a focus on medical decisions. This may be the toughest part, since it is impossible to know how long someone will live with Alzheimer’s. The average patient lives four to eight years, according to the Alzheimer’s Association. The cost of care can add up fast—as much as $5,000 to $7,000 a month in some cases.

That’s why the next step—selecting an elder law estate planning attorney is so important. Planning for long-term care, qualifying for Medicaid and other benefits, is a complex challenge.

Dr. Quinn expressed his wishes to stay in his home as long as possible. However, his wife admits that he can’t stay focused on any projects for very long. The familiarity of their home makes life much easier for both of them, so they agreed early on to have in-home care, if it’s ever needed.

An estate planning attorney will help the family, by drafting estate planning documents and creating a plan as early as possible. A last will and testament must be created and executed before the person is legally incompetent. The same goes for a power of attorney and any health care power of attorney documents. Medicaid planning should be done as soon as possible, since there is a five-year look back period concerning transferring any assets.

Reference: WCCO CBS Minnesota (July 23, 2019) “’All Lined Up Before You Need It’ : Alzheimer’s Association Shares Steps for Estate Planning”

Estate Planning Smooths Life’s Bumpy Road

It’s too bad that this happened to the Franklin family, but it happens often. A family member dies unexpectedly or becomes incapacitated at a young age and they never did the right planning.  Sometimes worse, they did the right estate planning, but the documents are decades old, out of step with current laws and the power of attorney is so old, that no financial institution will recognize it.

The problems that these scenarios create for loved ones are stressful, expensive and take a fair amount of everyone’s time. Solutions are offered in the article “Planning for the unexpected–4 Steps to get your affairs in order” from the Post Independent.

These four steps will help make the unexpected events of life a little less challenging.

Have a will and other estate planning documents prepared.

A will is a list of instructions to the court that details how you want your possessions to be distributed after you die. It should be drafted by an estate planning attorney who is licensed to practice law in your home state. The will goes through the probate process, which takes care of your legal and financial matters. In some states, the probate process is a simple process. In others, it can be problematic. Your estate planning attorney will be able to advise you about the probate process in your area.

A revocable living trust is a useful estate planning document that is used to establish more control over your assets, while you are alive. It should also be created by an experienced estate planning attorney. At your death, assets held in your trust then pass to heirs and avoid the probate process.

Make sure you title your assets properly.

Once you have a will and any trusts in place, any assets you wish to have placed in the trust need to be titled correctly. If you own a property with someone else and want to be sure your share of that property goes to the other owner, you’ll need to title it jointly.

Don’t forget to review the beneficiary designations that are usually a part of your bank and investment accounts, retirement accounts and insurance policies. Any beneficiary designation will override the will. If you haven’t reviewed beneficiary designations in a long time, now is the time to do so. There is no way to undo a beneficiary designation, once you have died.

Have power of attorney agreements created.

These documents give another person, the “agent,” the power to act on your business, financial and legal affairs, if you are incapacitated. The laws vary from state to state, which is another reason to work with an estate planning attorney licensed in your state. You’ll need these documents:

  • A durable power of attorney
  • A medical durable power of attorney
  • A living will

Prepare a letter of instruction.

This is not a legally binding document, but it can provide loved ones with a great deal of clarity when you have passed. Consider including this information:

  • A list of financial accounts and account numbers and any online usernames and passwords.
  • A list of important documents and where they can be found.
  • The names and contact information for the legal and financial professionals with whom you work.
  • Your final burial and/or funeral wishes.

Once you’re done, review the documents every few years and when there are major events in your life, including births, marriages, divorces, deaths and other “trigger” events. Remember that the laws change, so don’t let too much time go by without a thorough review of your estate plan.

Reference: Post Independent (July 22, 2019) “Planning for the unexpected–4 Steps to get your affairs in order”

How to Plan for Long-Term Care Costs

The odds are that most of us will need long-term care. At least 52% of those over age 65 will need some type of long-term care at some point in our lives, according to a study conducted by AARP. As most of us are living longer, we’ll probably need that care for a longer period of time, as reported in the article “It’s best to plan for long-term care” from the Times Herald-Record.

Here’s the problem: ignore this issue, and it won’t go away. This is a fairly common response for people 55 and older. The size of the problem makes it a bit overwhelming, and the cost to tackle it seems unsolvable. However, not addressing it becomes even more expensive. How can we possibly pay for long-term care insurance?

Here’s a simple example: a 64-year-old woman who broke her ankle in three places. She was healthy and mobile. However, a badly broken ankle required extensive rehabilitation and she was not able to stay in her home. She has been living at a rehabilitation center and the costs are mounting. What could she have done?

There are two basic ways (with a number of variations) to pay for long-term care.

The first and most obvious: purchase a long-term care insurance policy. Only 2.7 million Americans own these policies. They are wise to protect themselves and their families.

Most families put off buying this kind of insurance, because it’s expensive at any age and stage. The average cost is about $2,170, according to the Kiplinger Retirement Report, for about $328,000 worth of insurance. That rate varies, and it should be noted that if you have a chronic condition, you may not be able to purchase a policy at all.

If a local nursing home costs $216,000 per year and you have $328,000 of coverage, you’ll run out of coverage. The average nursing home stay is about two years. As boomers age, the cost of long-term care insurance is rising, while benefits are becoming skimpier, says Kiplinger.

There are some alternatives: a hybrid life insurance plan that includes long-term care coverage.  However, those can be more expensive than regular long-term care insurance. Try about $8,000 a year for a 55-year-old, about $13,000 for a 65-year-old.

Another choice: a Medicaid Asset Protection Trust. You’ll need to work with an estate planning attorney to create and fund this trust long before you actually need it. Your assets must be placed in the trust five years before an application to Medicaid, which will then pay for your care. You don’t have to live in poverty to do this. If the care is for one person, the applicant is permitted to keep about $15,450 of assets. The spouse may also keep a home worth up to $878,000 and assets up to about $120,000. In New York State, you can keep the principle of retirement funds like an IRA or 401(k), as long as you are taking the required distribution withdrawals.

However, what if you have money to pay or need long-term care before you put assets in trust? If you live in New York, Florida and Connecticut, you have what is called “spousal refusal.” The spouse of the person in long-term care can choose not to pay for their cost of care. This can get complicated, and Medicaid will try to get funds for the care. However, an estate planning elder law attorney can negotiate the amount of payment, which may leave the bulk of your estate intact.

These are complicated matters that become very costly, often at a time when you are least able to deal with yet another issue. Speak with an estate planning attorney before you need the care and learn how they can help you protect your spouse and your assets.

Reference: Times Herald-Record (July 22, 2019) “It’s best to plan for long-term care”

What are the Details of the New SECURE Act?

The SECURE Act proposes a number of changes to retirement savings. These include changes to parts of IRAs and 401(k)s. The Act is expected to be passed in some form. Some of the changes look to be common sense, like broadening access to IRAs and 401(k)s, as well as including updating the rules to reflect that retirement is now a longer period of life. However, with these changes come potential limitations with stretch IRAs.

Forbes asks in its recent article “Are Concerns Over Stretch IRAs And The SECURE Act Justified?” You should know that an IRA is a tax-wrapper for your investment that is sheltered from tax. Your distributions can also be tax-free, if you use a Roth IRA. That’s a good thing if you have an option between paying taxes on your investment income and not paying taxes on it. The IRA, which is essentially a tax-shield, then leaves with more money for the same investment performance, because no tax is usually paid. The SECURE act isn’t changing this fundamental process, but the issue is when you still have an IRA balance at death.

A Stretch IRA can be a great estate planning tool. Here’s how it works: you give the IRA to a young beneficiary in your family. The tax shield of the IRA is then “stretched,” for what can be decades, based on the principle that an IRA is used over your life expectancy. This is important because the longer the IRA lasts, the more investment gains and income can be protected from taxes.

Today, the longer the lifetime of the beneficiary, the bigger the stretch and the bigger the tax shelter. However, the SECURE Act could change that: instead of IRA funds being spread over the lifetime of the beneficiary, they’d be spread over a much shorter period, maybe 10 years. That’s a big change for estate planning.

For a person who uses their own IRA in retirement and uses it up or passes it to their spouse as an inheritance—the SECURE Act changes almost nothing. For those looking to use their own IRA in retirement, IRAs are slightly improved due to the new ability to continue to contribute after age 70½ and other small improvements. Therefore, most typical IRA holders will be unaffected or benefit to some degree.

For many people, the bulk of IRA funds will be used in retirement and the Stretch IRA is less relevant.

Reference: Forbes (July 16, 2019) “Are Concerns Over Stretch IRAs And The SECURE Act Justified?”

Things That Can Drain Your Retirement Savings

You can follow all the rules, work hard and save the amount of money the experts recommend for your retirement and still get blindsided by an unexpected situation that wipes out your retirement savings and leaves you on shaky financial ground. There is a limit to how much money anyone can save for retirement, so advising you to save even more money for retirement might not be the solution.

Becoming aware of the threats to your retirement savings might allow you to avoid some of them or develop strategies, in case you find yourself in one of the situations one day. Here are some of the things that can drain your retirement savings.

Inflation and the Cost of Living

Remember what a newspaper, loaf of bread, or house cost 25 or 30 years ago? Chances are, those and many other things cost significantly more today than they did then. Many people live for two or three decades after they retire. If, for example, $4,000 of income would have provided a comfortable lifestyle in the year a person retires, it might not be adequate in 15 or 20 years.

The good news is that you can inflation-proof some of your living expenses. If you have a fixed-rate mortgage, you will lock down the amount of your housing cost. Of course, paying off your mortgage before retirement is an even better option. People who rent instead of buy, however, will face ever-rising payments for rent. That lovely apartment that cost $2,000 a month when you moved in could cost double that price after a few decades.

You can also press the pause button on some other expenses, like insurance. Some disability and long-term care policies offer a cost-of-living protection option. You should also check to see if your retirement plan administrator offers any fixed rate or guaranteed return investments that come with cost-of-living adjustments.

Spend Your Time, Not Your Money

When you are no longer working full-time, you might decide to get involved in activities you wanted to engage in before but did not have the time. Joining a local service club like Rotary or the Lion’s Club can be a wonderful way to connect with like-minded people and serve your community, but it can also be expensive. You will have membership dues, but those are just the start.

Many service clubs meet at mealtimes, so you will have to pay the cost of the meal, which is usually at a restaurant. Because service clubs perform projects to help deserving causes, there will be constant fundraisers and appeals for contributions. This is not intended to discourage people from joining service clubs, rather, to inform you about the costs involved if you choose to do so. Your community probably has a volunteer corps you can participate in at no charge, if your goal is to help others without going broke.

Stay Healthy

Face it. If you are retired, you cannot afford to get sick. The cost of healthcare goes up every year. Current retirees pay on average about $5,000 to $6,000 a year for Medicare premiums, copays, and prescription drugs. A significant medical crisis can wipe out your retirement savings.

Do everything you can to stay healthy. Eat well and stay hydrated. Talk regular walks and avoid falls. Stay away from sick people. You should also keep a positive attitude. Maintaining your health is one of the most effective ways to make sure you do not run out of money in retirement.

References:

AARP. “5 Threats to Your Retirement Savings.” (accessed July 16, 2019) https://www.aarp.org/retirement/planning-for-retirement/info-2019/5-threats-to-your-retirement-savings.html

What’s Long Term Care About?

Many people are scared about the prospect of needing help in a long-term care setting, and they are right to be worried. For many people, a spouse or adult children will become the go-to caregivers, but not everyone will have that option, says Market Watch’s article “This is how much long-term care could cost you, and don’t expect Medicare to help.”

If that’s not worrisome enough, here are facts to consider:

  • More than a third of people will spend some time in a nursing home, where the median annual cost of a private room is well over $100,000, says Genworth’s 2018 Cost of Care Survey. Don’t expect those numbers to go down.
  • Four of ten people will opt for paid care at home, and the median annual cost of a home health aide is more than $50,000.
  • Half of people over 65 will eventually need some kind of long-term care costs, and about 15% of those will incur more than $250,000 in costs, according to a joint study conducted by Vanguard Research and Mercer Health and Benefits.

Medicare and even private health insurance don’t cover what are considered “custodial” expenses. That’s going to quickly wipe out the median retirement savings of most people: $126,000. With savings completely exhausted, people will find themselves qualifying for Medicaid, a government health program for the indigent that pays for about half of all nursing home and custodial care.

Those who live alone, have a chronic condition or are in poor health have a greater chance of needing long-term care. Women in particular are at risk, as they tend to outlive their husbands and may not have anyone available to provide them with unpaid care. If a husband’s illness wipes out the couple’s savings, the surviving spouse is at risk of spending their last years living on nothing but a Social Security benefit.

The best hedge against long-term care costs is to purchase a long-term care insurance policy, if you are eligible to purchase one. Wait too long, and you may not be able. One woman persuaded her parents to purchase a long-term insurance policy when her father was 68 and her mother was 54. Five years into the policy, her father was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. The policy covered almost the entire cost of his 24-hour care in the final months of his life. Her mother lived to 94, so the investment in the policy was well worth it.

Everyone approaching retirement needs a plan for long-term care costs. That may be purchasing long-term care insurance, speaking with a qualified elder law attorney, or purchasing a hybrid life insurance product with long-term care benefits. If there is no insurance and one member of the couple is still alive, getting a reverse mortgage may be an option.

Reference: Market Watch (July 19, 2019) “This is how much long-term care could cost you, and don’t expect Medicare to help.”

How Much Will Long-Term Care Cost?

The recent article from MarketWatch, “This is how much long-term care could cost you, and don’t expect Medicare to help,” reports that most people over 65 will eventually need help with daily living tasks, like bathing, eating, or dressing. Men will need assistance for an average of 2.2 years, and women will need it for 3.7 years, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Administration on Aging.

Many will rely on unpaid care from spouses or children, but over a third will spend time in a nursing home, where the median annual cost of a private room is now more than $100,000, according to insurer Genworth’s 2018 Cost of Care Survey. Four out of ten will choose paid care at home; the median annual cost of a home health aide is more than $50,000. Finally, more than 50% of people over 65 will incur long-term care costs, and 15% will incur more than $250,000 in costs, according to a study by Vanguard Research and Mercer Health and Benefits.

Note that Medicare and private health insurance typically don’t cover these “custodial” expenses. This means that such costs can quickly deplete the $126,000 median retirement savings for people age 65 to 74. People who exhaust their savings could wind up on Medicaid, the government health program for the indigent that pays for about half of all nursing home and custodial care.

People who live alone, are in poor health, or who have a family history of chronic conditions are more likely to require long-term care. Women face special risks, since they typically outlive their husbands and, as a result, may not have anyone to provide them with unpaid care. If husbands require paid care that erases all of the couple’s savings, women could have years or even decades of living on nothing but Social Security.

The earlier you start planning, the more choice and control you’ll have. Let’s look at some of the options:

Long-term care insurance. The average annual premium for a 55-year-old couple was $3,050 in 2019, according to the American Association for Long-Term Care Insurance. Premiums are higher for older people, and those with chronic conditions might not be eligible. Policies typically cover part of long-term care costs for a defined period, like three years.

Hybrid long-term care insurance. With life insurance or annuities with long-term care benefits, money that isn’t used for long-term care can be left to your heirs. These products typically require you to commit large sums or are paid in installments over 5 to 10 years, although some now have “lifetime pay” options.

Home equity. People who move permanently into a nursing home may be able to sell their houses to help fund the care. Reverse mortgages may be an option, if one member of a couple remains in the home. This type of loan lets them use their home equity. However, it must be repaid if the owners die, sold, or they must move out.

Contingency reserve. People with a great deal of investments could plan on using some of those assets for long-term care. Their investments can produce income, until there’s a need for long-term care, and then can be sold to pay for a nursing home or home health aide.

Medicaid spend-down. Those who don’t have much saved or who face a catastrophic long-term care cost that cleans out their entire savings, could wind up applying for Medicaid. Ask an elder law attorney about ways to protect, at least some assets for your spouse.

Reference: MarketWatch (July 19, 2019) “This is how much long-term care could cost you, and don’t expect Medicare to help”

When Retirement Is Devoted to Elderly Parents

Lynda Faye planned to spend her retirement gardening and visiting eight grandchildren. Instead, she is caring for her mother, 99-year-old Yetta Meisel. The former art teacher is busy all day long, helping her mother bathe, making meals, picking up prescriptions, scheduling home aides and transporting a wheelchair for excursions, reports The New York Times in the article “At 75, Taking Care of Mom, 99: ‘We Did Not Think She Would Live This Long.’”

Ms. Faye and her mother are part of what is expected to be a growing phenomenon, of children in their 60s and 70s who are devoting their retirement years to caring for parents who are in their 90s and beyond.

The financial cost of caring for an older parent is not an easy one. In Ms. Faye’s case, she persuaded her parents to move to their hometown. An addition was added to the Faye’s home, but her parents chose to move to a three-bedroom condo nearby. The Faye’s turned the addition into a bed-and-breakfast suite.

When Mrs. Meisel’s husband died, she qualified for a state program that paid some of the costs of home aides. While Mrs. Faye kept the B&B busy, she paid for 24/7 care and other expenses for her mother from the $25,000 nest egg that her father had. In a few short years, that money was gone.

Now the family home is on the market. Mrs. Faye and her husband have moved into their mother’s condo. Her mother lives in a one-bedroom unit in the same building. To save money, Ms. Faye cut back on the home aides and cares for her mother herself three days a week. Her mother’s Social Security and the state program pay for the balance of her care. There’s an additional $1,000 needed every month, which comes from Ms. Fay’s pension.

With no assets, her 99-year-old mother does qualify for nursing care paid by Medicaid. However, Ms. Faye has made the decision not to go that route. She considers herself fortunate to have a living mother with a good sense of humor who appreciates what her daughter has done and is doing for her.

A study being conducted on the relationships of 120 parents who are 90 and older and children who are 65 and older found that many late-in-life caregivers suffer from their own failing health, which can worsen with the stress, physical tasks and isolation that accompanies caregiving. It can be tough financially, when retirement funds are needed for caregiving. If the child does not have a good relationship with the parent, it can become toxic.

It may be helpful to seek professional advice to find out what financial and caregiving resources are available. Children who are draining their own retirement savings should consider a nursing home that accepts Medicaid. A geriatric care manager will be able to help estimate the costs of different types of care a parent may need over time, and a financial advisor can assess how much the caregiver can afford before their own retirement is at risk.

Reference: The New York Times (June 27, 2019) “At 75, Taking Care of Mom, 99: ‘We Did Not Think She Would Live This Long.’”